Entry 13

My last post was in July, I think this takes being a slack blogger to a new level. So what's happened in the last 3-ish months? A little and a lot I suppose. A contradiction you might think...perhaps. That's just how it feels. Some things have happened, but on the whole most things are the same. I suppose the two biggest adjustments I've had to make is dealing with a death in the family and the fact that a friend has moved to town.

My Grandmother passed away from cancer a couple of months ago. This event forced me to confront death in a way I never have before. This is the first close family member I've had who has passed. It was an odd experience. One thing I am quite sure of is that in the last couple of days the essence of who she was as a person was gone. The body was there but the soul had gone. I think perhaps this helped. It would be worse to see a loved one who is in pain and who is aware of their pain. This was not so much a life cut short, as it is for so many, but the end of a beautiful life. Philosophically the concept of death is probably more troubling for me now than it was before. And I've probably avoided thinking about it as much as I should, but I admit it does creep into my thoughts, so as much as I would like to avoid the questions and the implications, I guess in a way I'm haunted by them.

The second adjustment is one that would ordinarily be a good thing, however, one of the things I valued most about living in Dunedin was my anonymity. It was refreshing to know that walking around the city would not mean running into 50 people who knew me and had some sort of opinion about who I am or what I'm about based on who I was. Moving here was a fresh start, the cliched new beginning. I feel like that's been taken away from me. So while in some respects it feels a little, I don't know, 'safer' knowing that this person is living not far from me, it also feels like they've rained on my parade. You may read this and think I'm terrible for claiming this person is a friend and then being ungrateful that they've ended up in the same place as me, but of course with any real story there are far too many details to fit into one little post. Suffice to say I move swiftly from happiness at the thought of having an old friend in town, and resentment.

So what else is new? I had my 6 month review (obviously a couple of months ago now). It went fine, I didn't think it wouldn't. In fact, it was almost a mere formality. The next review will be at 1 year and will mark the transformation from provisional to fully-fledged PhD candidate.

In regard to the PhD, I've already written a chapter (well, it does still need a bit of work) and I'm now working on turning that into an article. I'm not sure which journal I'll be submitting to, but it'll be something to do with applied philosophy and ethics.

I've also been kept very busy finishing of the year's tutorials for the Med students, formatting articles for lecturers, and working on my research assistant job.

And now, low and behold, we're in November, which is of course a hop, skip, and a jump from Christmas. I'll be travelling home nearer to the 25th (Decemeber), then I'll be spending the New Year on the Sydney Harbour watching a firework display above the Opera House. Then it'll be back to work early January. At which point it'll be 2011, I'm already thinking WTF?...Where is my life going?

With that, I'll end my new post and I won't promise to write again soon, but I will write again.

Entry 12

So it’s been quite a long time since I last wrote. I don’t have a lot to report really. In terms of the study I’ve been doing lots of reading and writing. So far I’ve been looking at what this one guy says about Human Enhancement. His arguments can be quite dubious at times so I’ve been trying to critique them. I have 8,000, which is of course a drop in the ocean (a PhD thesis is 100,000 words) but one must start somewhere. I had a meeting with my supervisor this week and he said he enjoyed reading through what I’d written. He also wants me to turn it into an article suitable for publication, which is awesome but terrifying.

I have my first official PhD progress report coming up. It’s because I’ve been here 6 months, so I have to basically have an evaluation of my work so far and if it is good enough I will have my candidature confirmed (at the moment my status as a PhD student is provisional). Part of the review will be an meeting with my supervisor and a convenor, kind of scary but should be okay.

In terms of work, there has been a really long break between tutorials, they start up again next month. I’ve been doing some article formatting for some of the lecturers though, which has been really good. Essentially they send me an article they’ve written, or co-written, and I go through and format the references. It’s not overly difficult but can be tedious. Difficulties do arise though when I’m unfamiliar with a referencing system, or the journals just make up their own, that can definitely be frustrating. I’m sure learning a lot. I’ve also been offered the position of Research Assistant to two lecturers who have been given a grant to conduct research. The position will be from next week until December. It should be excellent experience.

Other than study and work I have done a few things, like going to the Dunedin mid-winter lantern festival. That was really neat. There were hundreds of people, with lanterns they had made in workshops that were put on in the lead up to the event, who walked around the Octagon. There were also some people on stilts who were quite amazing. During the Cadbury Festival I went to the Cadbury factory, which was okay, but not exactly Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I also went to the Jaffa Race, which was held in Baldwin Street, the steepest in the world. This year they had two races, the first was 25,000 red giant Jaffas tumbling down from the very top of the street to the bottom, the second race was 25,000 purple Jaffas.

Something else I’ve been doing recently is exercising more. I’ve been going to the gym, which has been quite good so far. This week, after learning that the pool is about a three minute walk away, I’ve been swimming for the first time in years. I’m very slow at swimming but I figure that it doesn’t really matter how fast I go but that I just keep going. I went with a friend today and did 40 laps to her 104 in an hour, but no matter, at least I made the effort.

So that’s me and what I’ve been up to in the last couple of months.

Entry 11

Hi all, well look at this; I’m actually blogging again so soon after the last one. This is more general though. Just wanted to tell you about the movies I’ve watched this week. I’ve discovered the local video store and just can’t seem to get enough of the great deals they have there. So...the first movie was ‘The Secret’ (no not the self-help vid). This movie stars David Duchovny – of ‘The X Files’ fame – and a relatively new young actress, Olivia Thirlby, who has been gaining notoriety since she stared in ‘United 93’ in 2006. I first saw Thirlby in ‘Juno’ in which she played the best friend. Her performance didn’t stand out to me, so I was interested to see how she would perform in a leading role. Well, in my opinion, she was fantastic. ‘The Secret’ is a story about a not so perfect family, well a beautiful marriage and a moody teenage girl with a life she would prefer her parents not to know about. The mother and daughter are in a car accident and somehow the mother awakes in her daughter’s body. If at this point you are concerned that the movie might be a little too sci-fi or perhaps spiritual for your taste, rest assured, the focus of the film is the characters, not the hows or whys. The film really doesn’t delve into how this could possibly happen, the stance is more like ‘This can’t be happening, but it is so what do we do from here?’ The portrayal of such an impossible storyline is superb and raises various questions concerning trust, family, and the often blurry line between right and wrong. The film really is an exploration into the lives of three individuals all changed by one event. The mother is thrust into her 16 year old daughter’s life, forced to view their world from a teenager’s perspective. The father must question what it means to have his wife inside the body of his daughter. And while the character of the daughter is absent for the majority of the film she does add to its conclusion. The standout for me really was Thirlby, who plays both a 16 year old and a 36 year old. The dialogue between her and Duchovny is so real at times, which adds to the quality of the film. Overall, I thought this movie was extremely well done. It was intriguing and raises questions regarding morality without crossing the very obvious line, which so easily could have been crossed. I would highly recommend watching this if you like a good story that makes you think. 4.5/5 stars for this one.

The second movie I watched was ‘Little Children,’ this stars Kate Winslet and Jennifer Connelley. This movie was odd, let me say from the start. Not odd in a bad way, just odd. I guess it is more of an Art House film of sorts. The focus of this film really is social realism. The film is narrated by an undisclosed voice over, but told primarily from the perspective of Winslet’s character, Sarah Price. Sarah is unhappily married, and has a strained relationship with her 3 year old daughter. Sarah meets Brad at the park where they both take their children. In an effort to shock her fellow playground mothers Sarah approaches Brad and suggests they shock the mothers with a hug. One thing leads to another and soon enough Sarah and Brad are engaged in an intense affair. A storyline that runs concurrently is that of the local pervert, who sort of links in with other characters that tie in with Sarah and Brad, and is a topic of conversation in the worlds of both primary characters. This is an award winning film, which looks closely at, I would say reactions. Its focus seems to be on the reaction of each character, however small that role might play in the film, to certain events and topical issues. If I had to use one word to describe this movie I would say it is interesting. I think I would recommend this only to those of you who have an affinity for art. Watch it if you are interested in the human condition. And if you do watch it do not expect a wholly satisfying conclusion. Don’t get me wrong, the end fits perfectly with the story, however, it certainly isn’t typical Hollywood. 4/5 stars for this one.

Entry 11

I just read the last blog entry I wrote, which started off with an apology for how long it had been in between entries...well I’ve done that again. And just like the last one I’ve been home the last week. I really don’t have a lot to report since the last entry. In terms of my study I have been reading a lot but probably not as much as I should. I mean, I could probably read a heck of a lot more but I suppose it’s quality –in the sense that I am actually using the stuff I’m reading, while I’m reading it – over quantity, meaning just reading and highlighting for the sake of it. I’ve already handed in almost 5,000 words to my supervisor. Whether or not those 4,700 words are quality over quantity is debatable, however. But a start is a start, I keep telling myself.

I’ve also had a birthday in between entries. I’m now the big 2-5. I can’t explain why this particular age feels so important, I suppose it is because I had all of these plans that I had hoped to accomplish by this age. You know, like get married, have a family, that sort of thing. My life has taken a different route though, and I am now on my way to becoming an academic, which is great but I guess I now feel that the pressure is on now to get everything done before 30. I realise a lot can happen in a short time, and I have five years, but given how quickly the last five years has gone it is certainly worrying. Age is ironic, when we start out in life time passes quickly, then as children summers last forever, it seems like an eternity before our next birthday, and even longer until Christmas. Then, when we least expect, time speeds up again, just when all we want is for it to last. Don’t get me wrong, I agree ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’, and I’ll definitely attest to time dragging occasionally, but on the whole I feel time speeding up. Oh the cruel irony.

Regardless of the speed of time, I plan to enjoy it.

Entry 10

Okay, I know it has been quite a while since I have written. It's not because I haven't had anything of interest to write, rather I have been pretty slack. I kept thinking it's about time I wrote again but just haven't got around to it. So where to start. I guess I'll work backwards. Last week I went back to Palmy just for the week. That was quite odd. "Home" didn't quite feel like home anymore, but in saying that there was a sense of familiarity, which of course comes with living in a place all for so long. I haven't been away for that long but already little things have changed. Walking into my mother's house for the first time felt strange. I still have my own room set up just as I left it but it just didn't feel the same as it once did. I suppose this feeling is only going to become more pronounced as time goes on. It was nice seeing people I've missed. More than nice.

Before last week I had been doing some tutoring. The first lot of tutorials I gave were for second year medical students on "Best Interests," looking at how to decide (and who should decide) what is in a patient's best interest. It was pretty interesting. We looked at the case of Liam Williams-Holloway, a little boy who died of cancer in the late 90s. His parents wanted to give him an alternative therapy as opposed to chemotherapy. Long story short the courts got involved and his parents took him into hiding. He didn't get the care he required and he died. There are many ethical questions surrounding this case and it's good to get the student's exposed to this sort of thinking early on. Right now some of them are stuck in the "this is right, that is wrong" mindset, and that medicine is always black and white. The case they get to look at in this bioethics course show them that there will be various cases where the right thing to do is not obvious and that they will be forced to weigh up the options and alternatives and it might come down to simply picking the best option rather than the good or right one.

What else have I been doing? Hmmm, well I attended a PhD induction day. That was pretty interesting. It was good to find out that the vast majority of PhD candidates at Otago Uni do pass either with minor alterations (typos, grammatical errors, etc) to their thesis or with minimal changes being needed. That was somewhat comforting. That was probably the thing that stuck out most to me during the whole induction. I also attended the Vice-Chancellor's Garden Party, which was not so much a 'garden party' as it was 'in-door-because-the-weather's-so-bad party.' It was held at Abbey College, which is the postgraduate residence. It was okay. There was a band, which was good, but it was loud given we were in a room that wasn't especially large, this made it difficult to hear somebody speaking loudly into your ear. There were also groups who tended to stick to themselves. I suppose it would have been ideal for someone quite boisterous, who could mingle well. I must admit to be rather reserved in those sorts of situations. I met a couple of people. A group of us then went over to the student lounge at the university. We sat at a table that had the game Mouse Trap in a box, so of course we couldn't resist. Whoever devised that game must have been a genius, and those who can set it up in less than say 10mins likewise. We had two PhD candidates and two Masters students and crikey did we have difficulty, ah the shame. Granted we didn't actually look at the instructions. I had better luck after reading through them (probably the best place to start really!). It was fun putting it together though; we did discover a vital piece was broken though, so we didn't actually get to play. So if you ever wondered what PhD students do with their free time, some of them put together games probably even five year olds could do in no time (perhaps it was just a case of too many cooks...hmmm let me go with that excuse).

So the Garden Party and induction was probably a few weeks ago now and I'm not too sure if there was anything really interesting to report before that.

This week has started well, only it was an early morning yesterday with the second lot of tutorials beginning at 9am. This time we are discussing whether or not surgeons should be able to remove healthy limbs. If anyone has seen Grey's Anatomy this might be quite familiar. Raises many many ethical questions!!! It's also something that gets the students talking, which is fantastic. It's definitely easy to see a difference between medical students, who are accustomed to having all of the answers, and philosophy students, who are accustomed to either having no answer or too many answers. Med students are less likely to engage in fiery debates whereas philosophy students are only too eager, generally speaking of course. I'm getting used to it though, and it makes for a great tutorial when they do open up to the possibilitites and the ethical issues.

Okay, well I think that's all for now.

Entry 9

I gave my first presentation as a PhD student last Friday. They’re definitely swift in this department. When I did my Honours and Masters degrees the presentation (the only presentation) postgraduates had to give wasn’t until around about August. I’ve only been in the Bioethics department here for three weeks. I think that the presentation went quite well. Certainly as well as it probably could have gone considering the stage I’m at having just started. My topic at the moment is Cyborgs and Personhood. I sort of thought I had more direction with the topic than I actually do, which is quite frustrating. As it stands I have a choice out of three paths. First is the Transhuman aspect of cyborgs, which is related to the philosophical discipline ‘transhumanism’ that supports the use of emerging technology to improve and/or enhance humanity. Second is Enhancement, this area would look at the ethics of using enhancement technology and how that might affect our lives (this would probably be connected to the transhumant area). This area would more than likely lead into the use of enhancement in sports and would necessitate a discussion regarding the definition of the term enhancement. This discussion would in turn lead to the question, where do we draw the line with enhancement? Or in other words, what is enhancement? The third option is more of a philosophical investigation into what exactly it means to be a person, and whether a line can or should be drawn between a person and a cyborg, and if so at which point does it make sense to do so? So a tough choice lies ahead since this will determine my direction for the next three years and potentially my career path. All of the options seem so intriguing to me, and chances are they’re not actually mutually exclusive but one will be the driving force of my research. For now though, I am content to do some background reading on all three, and get started on some writing (which my supervisor wants in a week or so) and hopefully the path will become somewhat clearer in the meantime.

Entry 8

I have been to two movies this week. The first was Avatar. It's a good and interesting story. I think it would have been amazing in 3D. It is thought-provoking in its depiction of humans' (specifically Westerners) consumerist society. The movie shows a group of humans who want a rock or mineral of some sort and will stop at nothing to get it. There is no concern for the environment or the beings that live within it. It certainly made me think of just how true it is. We take without understanding, and more often than not, not wanting to understand the consequences of our actions.
The second was Precious. Wow this movie is shocking. This movie is not one for those looking for a light-hearted rom-com or the like. This is hard-hitting and is sure to make you detest the part of humanity depicted. It is an in-depth look at the abusers and the abused. It was sickening at times but also beautiful in parts.

Entry 7

I’ve been in Dunedin a week now, pretty much. Aside from a very sleepless night on Friday all has been going well. I am now all set up in my office at the hospital. I’m sharing with three or four others. Two girls and a guy and not sure about the other (if there is another, there’s a desk with books on it but haven’t seen a person yet). It is definitely nowhere near as comfortable as the Old Main Building, I got very lucky there. Being in the hospital is certainly taking some getting used to. From sharing a lift with doctors and nurses in their scrubs and of course sick people to being told if I hear screams down the hall it’s nothing to worry about. Yes...I was actually told that. Apparently in the Gastrology ward (around the corner from Bioethics) the patients often scream during their procedures and sometimes it’s so bad that the doctors stop them and the patients get mad when they’re woken up because they didn’t actually feel any pain – at least they don’t remember feeling pain. It’s also an interesting experience eating lunch in the staff cafeteria seeing doctors and nurses coming and going, it’s not quite like Grey’s though, unfortunately or fortunately.
I had a meeting with my supervisor last week; he seems like a very jovial kind of person. I think he might be British. He has a strong interest in my topic, which is ‘Cyborgs and Personhood.’ It is so important to have a supervisor who is actually genuinely interested in what you are writing. I have experienced a year of reporting to a supervisor who lacked interest in my project, consequently it was not a good year and reflected in my grade. Then when I was assigned a supervisor for my Masters who had a clear interest in the topic things went very smoothly, which again was reflected in the grade, this time in a positive way.
On Fridays the department has a morning tea, which I attended last week. It was so nice to see people chatting about all sorts of things, not just work. I did discuss my project with a couple of people though. One of the lecturers, Grant, gave me an article he wrote titled ‘Cyborgs and moral identity,’ it is really very good. It briefly explores many questions that I would like to look at only in more depth. Also on Friday I decided to explore one of the many libraries Otago has to offer. I borrowed a couple of books on Bioethics from the Medical Library. I’m yet to look at them but will have plenty of time this week to make a start. They’re really just the basics at this stage. One is called ‘The Basics of Bioethics’ I figure I may as well start at the beginning, right?! Bioethics is a new field for me. I have a background in ethics but need to catch up on the medical/scientific application. The field definitely intrigues me so I’m looking forward to really getting stuck in. It will be nice to be studying again, I’ve missed it.
On a different note, some of you may have seen my Facebook status on Saturday regarding my inconsiderate flatmate, who I have yet to officially meet. That really has been the only issue so far. I’m hoping that it will be a rare occasion that someone in the house is noisy and rude. There are four guys living in the house and I’ve only met one, he seems pretty nice. Unfortunately he’s not here for 2 weeks so I don’t even have an ally currently. We are all like ships that pass in the night, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’m quite happy as it is – when things are quiet anyway, which it normally is. My room is fantastic. It is HUGE!!! My bed is a queen size. I have a nice sized desk. I have a couch, fridge, microwave, TV, and a heater for the winter. The ceiling is so high and there is a lovely big window at the end of the room. The rest of the house is nice. It really is a large place, with five bedrooms, three upstairs and two downstairs. The living area and kitchen/dining area are also downstairs. Although there are drawbacks to being in the bedroom next to the front door I’m glad I’m upstairs because it is cold downstairs due to the lack of sun. There isn’t a wash-house though, which isn’t good for a person who likes to hand wash certain clothing items. There is a washing machine in a cupboard under the stairs and a dryer in the pantry. That’s okay for me though, I’m just eating in my room at the moment and haven’t a need to store food in the pantry as yet. I think I’ll start making soup when the weather gets colder but as there is no freezer I’ll just make it weekly probably. The reason for my interest in making soup is because I think it is such as easy way of getting a huge amount of healthy vegetables into my diet. And it eliminates the need to be cooking veges every night.
Anyway, speaking of weather, it has been so nice in Dunedin since I got here. Today (Sunday) was pretty dreary and drizzly, but I don’t mind. Oh I forgot to mention one of the best things about where I’m living. Seriously, 5 minutes from K-Mart, my fav store!!! It’s in a mall actually. Everything is so handy. It takes about 10 minutes to get to the Octagon, about 10ish minutes to get to the Hospital, about 15 minutes to the University. Fantastic.
What else, um...I went up the steepest street the other day, wow that was a horrible experience! We went in a car and I seriously wondered, or rather worried, that the car wouldn’t make it to the top. It did and the ride back down was even worse. I don’t think I’ve ever gone so fast in a car. I also went out to the beach, I think it was St. Kilda, it was so nice out there but unfortunately there weren’t any parks. It was a perfect summer day and a lot of people were out taking advantage.
I have two more things on my to-do list before I really become a geeky student who will most likely be found studying, is go to the Cadbury factory, and go ice-skating. They have adult classes at the ice-skating rink actually so I may make a habit of doing that.
Okay well time to go. I’ll write again soon. Live long and prosper!

Entry 6

Well I wanted the next blog to be from Dunedin, and here I am.  I'm currently sitting in my room at LivingSpace Hotel.  I move into the flat tomorrow. 

The flights were pretty good on the way down, aside from the noisy children.  I sort of blocked them out anyway.  My mind was on other things so it was easy to ignore the background noise.  It's quite incredible how quick it is to get to (almost) the bottom of the South Island. 

I had a brief look around Dunedin city centre.  It is really pretty.  The architecture is very English, which I love.  The Octagon is crazy small!!!  I'm accustomed to the Square in Palmy, which is actually pretty big, well it's definitely bigger than the Octagon anyway.  There is a really beautiful Cathedral on the Octagon, it almost made me want to go to Church...almost.

I managed to glimpse the tallest street and I've decided that I must have Vertigo.  It had never occurred to me before but I've had issues with really steep things before but looking at the street made me sick!  So I think I may avoid that.  The Cadbury factory, on the other hand, is a must on my to-do-list. 

I'll probably make a time this week to go into the Bioethics Centre and get acquainted with everyone and get myself sorted out in terms of an office etc.  Plus I need to go have a look around Otago Uni. 

All in all my first impressions of Dunedin are positive.  I'm quite certain that the homesickness has not yet kicked in, so if I avoid my blog for a while you'll know I'm probably curled in a ball wallowing, while trying very hard not to get back on a plane and come home.  Don't get me wrong I don't think I'd give up doing the PhD for anything, but I love Palmy and it is always going to be home.  So living there while still continuing the PhD wouldn't be such a bad thing.  At the moment I'm going to try hard to make the most of the opportunities that present themselves. 

Live long and prosper (figured I needed some sort of sign off and since I'm a geek I thought I'd go with that for now at least).

Entry 5

Well another boring entry but bear with me because I'm really going to try to keep up with this.  So my flights are booked, but I'm waiting to hear back about the room, the person I've been in contact with said they would send the contract but haven't yet.  I must admit to being a little worried.  Luckily I can change my flights without it costing, but then I'd have to hunt down another place extremely quickly.  Speaking of quick, Otago is definitely on the ball with everything, I just got my first (and last) bill for this year.  My scholarship does cover the course fees and provides a $20,000 stipend a year for a total of 3 years but there are extra fees for building levies, and welfare and recreation etc, which total $468.67.  I'm sure glad I have been saving my pennies!!!

Aside from that I haven't done much since the last entry.  Although I have been looking into continuing as a Note-taker for the Disability Service down there and also they have a one-on-one tutoring programme for students needing a little extra help, so with my experience from Massey that's looking like a good option to get a little extra cash and the more experience I get the more I can write on my CV.  Note-taking is so fun though, it's like getting paid to learn!  And there are so many courses that I wouldn't have taken myself that I've had the pleasure of 'taking' throughout the years at Massey, so continuing with that would be great. 

Alright, that's all for now.  Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, the next entry I write will be from Dunedin in my new studio room.  Wish me luck!!!